Seasons Greetings from Santa Tater

Nothing is more iconic than one Mr. Potatohead, except for Saint Nick himself, and now you don't have to choose. They fit together like turkey in a cloud. Or at least like pegs and peg holes. Potatohead has been enjoying an explosion of variations since Darth Tater captured our hearts and imaginations, and I was glad to add 'ol Santa Spud here to my desperately lacking Holiday Toy Display. Remember, folks, holiday toys are NOT toys but, rather, decorations; so remember to tell your wife that when you come home with another armful of them. Plus if you have Santa Spud you can now let any other Potatohead grow a full beard. Yes.

Target has really upped their game with their stocking stuffer aisle, and had this just sitting there for a PALTRY 6.00. Don't forget to check out their Legos and Batman Imaginex singles, either. Also of note: Christmas Deco Slinky. Nothing says "Handsome" like a holiday-specific slinky, and you better believe I didn't stop at buying the Halloween version offered last year. *Christmas Slinky is now available at your local Target in both Pure Red and Red/Green varieties.*

Toylines from a Forgotten Time: The Case of the Hidden TROLL Page

BATTLE TROLLS!!!
While TROLLing the internet last night, I came across this off-the-beaten path page (http://www.koreyluna.com/battletrolls.html) of Battle Troll photography. It's connected to a page of some guy's photography. I have no idea what this guy was doing taking pictures of all these troll dolls, but there they are. The funny thing is, there seems to be no link from the main page to this particular troll page. You just have to sort of already know it's there. Which, coincidentally, is the trick to seeing magical trolls in the real world. The OTHER way to find the hidden troll page is to be googling "Battle Trolls", which I may be the only person in the world doing.
One of the themes that I will soon be developing on this blog is my nostalgia for forgotten toylines, particularly from the 90's. It seems like 80's toy lines get a lot more attention online, but I have to work my butt off to find images or references to Street Sharks or Battle Trolls. But they are something that many people remember, yet no one is writing about (with good cause?). So Battle Trolls, I'm here to do you a service.These things are...hideous. Which is sort of intentional and sort of...not. Looking at them makes me feel funny. But I do hold a special place in my heart for them, even though I never had any of them. They're too dated and too weird to not be worthy of my attention. And besides, they have that certain X-treme TROLLS aesthetic that has been lost to the ages, but kept cropping up in the 90's. For a while there it was like TROLLS TROLLS TROLLS. Seriously, they were like Beanie Babies, I swear. I remember whole corners of mom and poop knickknack shops dedicated to TROLL displays. And I loved it.As toys, they're kind of baffling. They're made to hold accessories, but have NO articulation. I guess they were meant to play like the old wrestling figurines and just be smacked together has hard as possible by little hands to simulate a battle (BATTLE TROLLS). Also, their accessories seem to be a weird mish-mash of day-glo repaints culled from other lines like Swamp Thing and Pirates of Dark Water. Well, that's ok. The trolls were meant to get by on their good looks alone. That and their foofy, foofy, hair. Besides, I think it's against Troll Code to have articulation. Wait, scratch that. I can think of at least two Troll Subsidiaries that were articulated. Also of note is that these were from the time of Ninja Turtles where it was considered appropriate to flesh out a line by having your weird characters simply dress up in what were basically different costumes. Pirate Troll! Ninja Troll! Robot Troll! Anything goes with Battle Trolls!
In closing, Battle Trolls were the G. I. Joe of the 90's. Suddenly some executive woke up, eyes widened and asked "Why do trolls just have to be for GIRLS?" And these hideous manifestations of the 90's were born. But I love them for it. Sure, they can't always aim their weapons, but they were from a time of gross-out toys, and the didn't HAVE to. They just had to make your mom question why you would want something like that. What mom didn't realize is her disdain turned their purchase into a self fulfilling prophecy. They may be ugly, but heck, I sure could go for a few. Personally, I think they would like great lined up in a glass case together. Preserved in time, turning people's heads making them think "Just what the heck ARE those things?" They're Battle Trolls.

And thank YOU Korey Luna Photography (http://www.koreyluna.com/) for letting me steal your images and reuniting the world with these forgotten TROLLS!

Today's Toy #3: Scumbug!!!

Scumbug Datestamp:1990, Mirage Studios, Playmates Toys.
Scumbug is an early Teenage Mutant Ninja Turle figure, but not one of the earliest. He was probably one of Shredder's first back-up mutants after he finally realized Bebop and Rocksteady were incompetant. But, ah, Scumbug, Scumbug; he's a figure that holds a very special place in my heart. The figure that taught me how to pine and love from a far. You see, my next door neighbor had a great number of Turtles toys I didn't, from the Pizza Tosser, to the Turtles Blimp, to Ace Duck, but ol' Scumbug here was the one I loved the most. He was so close, yet so far away. I could play with him everyday, but never take him home. Something about him was so nasty, so beautifuly grotesque and eye-catching, that it immediatly pulled me into his world every time our eyes met. Luckily, sometimes old romances do rekindle if you wait long enough, and Scumbug was handed over to me some 20 years later in a box of my girlfriend's brother's old toys. Score!

Why I Love It:
C'mon, Scumbug rules. Scumbug, Scumbug, just listen to the way it rolls off the tongue- it says it all! I didn't know anything about him, but I didn't need to, you can just tell by looking at him that he's the baddest, grossest card in Shredder's rogues gallery. That teal and periwinkle colorscheme, the antennae pulled into a topknot, he even has an action feature where when you twist his head side to side his loose-hanging jaw rattles up and down. He's just...brilliant. He's the apex of late 80's/early 90's gross-out sculpting and comedic yet threatening wackiness. Of all the figures in the Turltes line-up to feature the "humanoid mutant caught in mid-transformation" look, Scumbug does it the best. His pink flesh is peeling away to reveal spikes and purple-tinted claws, tiny pincers and bugs crawling all over his body. You can even tell he was on his way to the office by the remaining half of his shredded tie and dress shirt. You'd almost feel sorry for the poor bastard if you couldn't tell by looking into his bulging eyes and maniacal, double-mandibled grin that he's pure evil.

Accessory Bin:
Scumbug certainly came with additional accessories, presumably a metal fly-swatter or something, but I have no way of knowing. Both Scumbugs I've encountered in my lifetime have been loose and accessory-less, and fairly beat-up. I could browse an online TMNT archive until I find a carded pic, but I'm far to lazy to do that right now. There is evidence of something plugging into him, given he has a gaping hole on each of his pectorals. What sinister object could possibly make Scumbug more dangerous? Only the mint on card collectors know for sure...

What If The Source-Material Was a Mystery?
It doesn't matter, Scumbug easily transcends mere source-material. He's gross, loud, weird, and evil-looking. If you want a bad dude to freak out girls, or long for the era of gross-out chic, Scumbug is your go-to guy. Besides, you can probably Ebay him for nothing. Although if people lived in my world, Scumbug would be more precious than gold. In fact, all trade would be based around old Ninja Turtles figures, and Scumbug would be a top denomination.

Today's Toy #2: Pelennor Fields Aragorn

Pelennor Fields Aragorn

When Did It Come Out?
2003, right around the release of Return of the King. This was before 6 inch figures shot up in price, so he retailed for around $6.99, which seems like a godsend now. I seem to recall there were a few waves of figures coming out at the same time, and not all of them were that exciting. For every Pelennor Feilds Aragorn and Eowyn in Armor you had a repackaged Bilbo or something. It took a long time for the REALLY cool figures to come out like Witch King, armored hobbits, or that glow-in-the-dark ghost kind guy. Which is odd because you'd think with the last movie they'd give everything a big push. I think that all of the early wave figures were fairly common, maybe this one being a little more rare because of popularity, but I seem to recall the whole line was quickly clearanced out to prepare for a revamped line with smaller packaging and figures from the whole trilogy.

When Did I Buy It?
Same time, probably at Target, that's where I remember these guys first coming out. This was one of the earlier figures I was sure to get because it screamed "This is Aragorn from the NEW movie!". Actually, thinking about it, I'm pretty sure he was a Christmas present. Which by my estimation would make him a slightly later release than the first figures for this movie. Whatever it was, I was happy to get him, because he was a cool new look for Aragorn, and fueled my new movie excitement. Sidenote: like many of my toys, this figure went through a fire, and though he came cleaner than most, he might still be a little more gritty looking than a fresh store-bought version of him. Which, turns out, works well for sword and sorcery type characters.

Why Should YOU Buy it?
He's Aragorn, fancy-style. Everybody likes Aragorn, and though this look is far from his most iconic, its your best bet for a Return of the King specific look. Plus, after three movies he's got all the bells and whistles that Toy Biz started to develop for their figures such as double-jointed elbows for maximum sword-grabbing, hidden dagger sheath, and enhanced sculpting. Come to think of it, at the time, this was the best Aragorn they had produced. He lends himself great to posing, and is good if you want a more ornate, kingly look for Aragorn, which for me fits well with the more grandiose tone of the final movie. There is a different actual king version of him, but this one is fancy while still remaining battle-oriented. His open-mouthed head sculpt adds to this effect, though some might find that off-putting. Finally, if you want to reenact ol' Strider stabbing a cave troll in the calf with a dagger, this is your only option.

What If It's Source-Material Was a Mystery?
He's got the great character design and cool medieval look that all of the Lord of the Rings characters have, with his heavy chainmail peeking out, a big two-handed sword, and even a dagger sheath hidden in the small of his back. The blue and red color scheme and silver tree coat-of-arms on his chest give him the appearance of some sort of royalty or at least a well to do knight. There's even a little ring sculpted on his finger. If I was a kid and picked this toy up, he would immediately become the most valorous knight I owned, regardless of who else was under the banner of the king. And then I would put him to work leading the patrols through the fields of my backyard.

Today's Toy #1: Iron Man Mark IV

I've decide to revitalize this blog and start looking at a figure from my collection every day or so (or, probably inevitably, as much as I feel like) a format which I'm aping from several established toy blogs. Because, you know, I love my toys, and to me they each have a story to tell. And besides examining them on my desk, they just don't get the kind of attention they deserve. So I'll be picking one each day according to my fancy and reviewing it. I think I'll also review new toys as I get them starting...now. And in honor of the release of Iron Man 2 I'll start by looking at my latest Iron Man, Iron Man Mark IV. Here we go...

Iron Man Mark IV
When Did It Come Out?
Right now! Well, ok, not now, it came out a little earlier in about March 2010, but it's out now. These figures bucked the trend of higher and higher toy costs lately, and will only set you back $6.99 if you don't buy them somewhere ridiculous. Why, that's only as much as (or less than?) a Star Wars figure cost when they added those stupid Commtech chips in 1999. But anyway, Iron Man here was released to coincide with the release of Iron Man 2, and is from that movie. He came out with about a slew well articulated brothers in a very nice line of super-articulated 3 3/4 inch figures. If you want a full armory of little Iron Men then you'd better strike now while the Iron Man is hot.

When Did I Buy It?
I bought it with earnings from coming in second in a NCAA Basket Ball bracket. Gambling for toys, I'm such a degenerate. Previously I'd bought a huge number of the rest of these Iron Man toys for my birthday, and, being anal-retentive, I wanted all the armors that appear in the new movie, even though this one is barely different from the Mark VI.

Why Should YOU Buy it?
These toys rule. Hasbro has recently pretty much done away with their 6 inch Marvel toys and turned everything 3 3/4 inch style. And until now the figures were over-priced and kind of wonky looking. But now they're very well articulated and actually more detailed than the 6 inch version from the first movie. All this and they actually lowered the price. Did their price/demand ratio decide no one would buy this for more? Whatever it was, I'm reaping all the benefits! As far as this version itself, he's pretty cool. An updated version of the first movie's armor, this one has a few more little details and gold piping. It's a good basic-armor Iron Man, so he'd be good as a jumping on point if you want to get into these. For me, he's a nice additional flavor to the Iron Man armory, and I think he works well for what he is: a slightly refined and updated version of the old armor after it was destroyed. A kid could have a good time pretending that the Mark III was damaged by Iron Monger and then pull this figure out and use their best Iron Man voice to say something like "I'm back, and I've made a few...modifications!" On one last note, I hate to disparage my toys, but this one is VERY similar to the Mark VI (the one with the triangle chest piece) which is the one people will be more excited about based on the movie. Cause he makes a new element to power it (Spoiler!). So unless you're really into toys, you'll almost certainly just want to get that one (though you'd still have to be fairly into toys to get it at all).

What If It's Source-Material Was a Mystery?
Right now, everyone has heard of him. But otherwise, he's a robot man and he looks like a robot man, with shiny metallic red and gold, and light palms and chest. Visually, he's a little more complicated than other versions, so he comes off as a little more advanced. If you're a fan of robots he'll look great on a desk or shelf, even if you don't care about comics or the movies. And robots always translate well into toys because their joints pass off well as part of the actual robot's joints. Top it off that this toy is detailed and articulated and you're guaranteed to have at least a little fun diddling around with it.

G.I. Joe: The Ultimate Battle Pack!

Last Christmas, Hasbro released two pretty awesome Star Wars "Ultimate Battle Packs", exclusive to Target, one from Hoth and one from Endor. Both came jam-packed with figures and vehicles, most of which were significantly different from any previous release. Though they were both expensive, when all that was included was totaled up, the packs were a pretty great deal. Both packs sold out pretty fast, so I was excited to see if they would have any new packs this year of re-release last years model (I only got the Endor one, which I will probably review some other time).

Hasbro did have another "Ultimate Battle Pack" in store for us this year, this time one for G.I. Joe.
At first I wasn't all the interested. I'm not as interested in G.I. Joe, and the $70 asking price, though technically still a fair deal, was way more than I was ever going to pay for it. But after seeing it a few times in person, I decided that the included figures and repaints were pretty cool.

Well, after the Christmas season dissipated these things were still lingering around, and I thought I might have a chance to get it on clearance. I found it for $30 bucks, but decided that if it was ever down to $25 I'd pick it up.

Well, in one of the greatest deals of my collecting career, I managed to find it for $15, thus unleashing...

THE ULTIMATE G.I. JOE BATTLE PACK!!!


The pack comes with seven figures and three vehicles, and is the perfect starter set for people who are just getting into G.I. Joe, and comes complete with everything you need to wage a full-scale war right out of the box. Let's break down everything that is included...

First there's Short Fuse, the G.I. Joe mortor man. Complete with a unique weapon for the ranks of Joe, Short Fuse is exclusive to this set.


Second is Sgt. Stalker with unique deco and included jetpack. Stalker here is perfect for your wacky science fiction needs and allows you to have a guy you can drop down on your vehicles.


You'll need someone to pilot the included MOBAT tank, and Commander Steeler is a perfect fit. Steeler is also unique to this set and his tan uniform sets him apart from the other Joes.




Next Cobra's rank of gerenic troopers is filled out with Cobra Vehicle Gunner, a grunt who comes colored-coded to chill out in the tank turret.




But you need a pilot for your HISS tank, and so the HISS Drivercomes ready to do your bidding.




Here we have the Joe's perennial chrome-headed baddie, Destro. Destro is in his "Iron Grenadier" outfit with snappy color-coding to boss his red grunts around.




What would a Joe battle be without Cobra Commander? He comes with his wacky world-domination-oriented Cobra Flight Pod, perfect for hovering over your vehicles and facing off against the similarly James Bond-like jet pack.




This HISS Tank is probably one of the greatest toy vehicles ever designed, having a long career being repainted and loved by kids all over. And here it comes with a complete crew right out of the box.


I've saved the best for last. The included MOBAT tank is no ordinary vehicle, it's motorized so you can do stuff like this...


It can even be set to go backwards or left or right, perfect for rolling over whatever obstacle you can assemble from crap lying around.



In closing, this truely is THE ULTIMATE BATTLE PACK, even at full price, and finding it on clearance makes it even more ULTIMATE.

Congradulations on an ULTIMATE BATTLE, Joes. You shall be remembered...

Kaybee Toys: A Last Hurrah

THE JOURNEY:
After finding out that all the Kaybee stores would be closing, we made it our mission to make a pilgrimage to one before time ran out. We made our destination a Kaybee Liquidators located 45 minutes north and set a date. As fate would have it, we got there on the last day, during their last few hours of business...

This was all that remained of the shelf space. Everything left in the store was 25¢.



Goodbye, Kaybee, ye shall be missed.



Here you can see how gutted the place was by the time we got there.



Here you can see all the wares they had left, and the greed in our eyes start to rise.



When all was said and done, we loaded up.





Nothing washes down a ridiculous toy-buying spree like a Denny's Grand Slamwich.



THE DAMAGES:
Mostly what they had left where wrestling toys, which at first I resisted, but as time wore on my standards dropped lower and lower, until I was just piling weird crap into a cart. I'm glad I did to, because at 25¢ for everything in the store, these purchases simply didn't add up. Everything I bought is detailed in the list below...




These little guys are great. They may just be the most articulated 3 and ¾" figures currently available. They also fit in great with your other toys in case Luke Skywalker or G.I. Joe ever needs to wrestle with someone. Plus, each figure comes with part of a build-an-environment. Just 3 of these guys came with enough peices to build have this cage-thing . Pictured here are The Boogeyman, Umaga, CM Punk, and The Miz. It should be noted that The Miz got his start appearing on The Real World and then going into wrestling. By comparing the date-stamps of the two figures I bought of him, I have deduced that he's been in the game for at least 10 years.



The rest of the figures we bought were the bulk of what remained at the store: 6" wrestling figures. We started out basing our purchases of them on facial-expression hilarity, but as time wore on our standards became more lax and arbitrary.

Ehh, the names of either of these figures escapes me. All you need to know is that they're rockin' the business attire bruiser look. Plus that briefcase? It fires out contracts.



Up next are Nuncio and JBL



Nuncio comes complete with a classic folding-chair accessory that maintains an imprint after you bash it into a figure's face.



And JBL comes with a safe accessory that opens when it's slammed on a figures head. I hope this kind of stuff actually happens in wrestling.



Here we have Micheal Shelton and I forget who's on the ladder there. I just call him Grumpy Gus because of his sad/hurt facial expression.



And lastly we have Mr. Kennedy (with microphone) and once again The Miz.


Although I've never liked wrestling, I have to admit that these figures are fun and well-made. I can definitely see why they seem to have bottomless popularity. The characters and articulation on these gives you a limitless combination of ways to mash them together. And keep in mind that these figures are mostly current and run about $10-$12 dollars a pop, making these garage-sale prices an insane deal even for the uninterested. My only regret? Not buying more.

Up next we have Faith from the Buffy the Vampire Slayer line. I don't know much about the show, but I'm guessing she goes from good to evil to good, just like about everyone else on the show. At any rate, this figure is ready for ass-kicking, sporting a handsome leather jacket, metal pipe, and weird bloodied ceremonial dagger-thing.



Faith's sleeves can also be removed to give her a fresh look and to keep her under-arms aired-out while she's using her bow accessory. All in all, a very nice figure.



This one is a real gem. Hemorah here was a smog monster from one of Godzilla's worst movies, and the original $10 asking price was highway robbery for what is essentially an unarticulated dog toy. But for 25¢ it's AWESOME. HEMORAH! here looks great just chillin' out on your shelf and being a baffling blob of Japanese quirkiness.



Next we have the Red Ranger. This strange dino-themed Ranger was the only selection available, and did not come with any weapons despite all the figures on his cardback having them. He does have a weird amountt of leg articulation, though, and I suppose his dino armor is pointing enough to act as a weapon. And, c'mon, he's a master of martial arts, so he doesn't even need it...



Also, the Red Ranger and Hemorah are locked in a never-ending battle.



There were multiples of this one Spawn figure left, Soldier of Ra. Spawn has had so many series and adventures he's scrapping the bottom of the barrel with this Egyptian-themed wave. Soldier of Ra is the most generic Mummy-esqe character from the line up, and thus the least desirable. But at least this makes him a nice generic Egyptian monster to pit your adventurers with. Plus he does have some serviceable arm articulation for a McFarlane brand figure...



...not to mention pretty great sculpting.



Here's a left-over gem from the Rocky toyline. Long gone were any recognizable figures from the line like Mr. T, Hulk Hogan, or Rocky himself, and all that remained was Rocky's Russian adversary's wife-- Ludmilla Drago. Even though she has no one from the movies to hang out with, she fits in well with the wrestling figures being made by the same company. Plus she can convert from business attire...





...to ass-kicking chic!



And here we have Rock Band figures. Now, these just came out and are also commanding a high premium, begging the question: why didn't the Kaybee guy just Ebay this stuff? Oh, well, they can't have been too popular if they had this big of a selection left. Looks like this line of brittle, ill-articulated figures won't been a saving grace for the struggling McFarlane toy company. Still, they're fun and current and they look good together.



And finally we have David Ortiz and Derek Jeter. I'm actually a little disappointed with these guys...they sport a fair amount of articulation, but their feet are oddly positioned forcing them to completely rely on their stand for support. Thus crushing my dreams of David Ortiz wailing on a Skeleton Warrior with his baseball bat.

At the end of the day, all this stuff cost, like, 5 or 6 bucks, less than any one toy that we bought would have cost us by conventional standards. Ultimately I would have traded any deal to keep Kaybee open a little longer, but as far as send-off's go, we did it in style.